Death on a train

The normal commute to work was interrupted last Wednesday when one of my fellow passengers suddenly collapsed. I’ve witnessed people faint before in the cattle-truck like conditions when, by the time the morning train eases into a London terminal station, carriages are inevitably crammed with hot and giddy office workers. Unfortunately this time it was clear that the situation was much more serious and that the man had suffered a heart attack. Despite valiant efforts by the ambulance men who tried to resuscitate him, it was clear that he did not survive.

The man was not old. He could not have thought as he left his home in the morning that he would not see his family again. It brings to mind the Quranic verse:

The Almighty says, “When their specified time arrives, they cannot delay it for a single hour nor can they bring it forward,” (16:61)

and Prophetic hadith such as:

Ibn ‘Umar used to say, “In the evening, do not anticipate the morning, and in the morning do not anticipate the evening. Take from your health for your illness and from your life for your death.” [al-Bukhari]

What was interesting was the reaction of the decanted passengers, now waiting on the platform for the next over-crowded train. Other than the odd few who were rubber necking as the dead man was being wheeled away, the majority of the hundreds of fellow travellers contrived to ignore the life and death drama unfolding only a few yards away.

Perhaps it was a form of British stoicism or just a manifestation of a typical London self-centered reaction. Regular tube users are so used to disruption to services due to ‘a fatality on the line’ that the usual reaction now is exasperation at the delay to their journey and inevitable consequences for reaching that important appointment ten minutes late rather than any sympathy or moment of reflection. Within seconds of the announcement of the cancellation of the train, mobile phones were being dialled and emails were sent to offices and work places, “I’ll be late in to the office this morning – the train was cancelled ‘cos a man died – how inconvenient!”

I can’t help feeling that the tragic event should have triggered deeper thoughts and emotions rather than just be the fleeting topic of water-cooler conversations. It should at least remind us about the fragility of life; that we should be in this world as if a stranger or a traveller on the road. Although death is an inevitable and every day occurence, in modern society being reminded about mortality is often skirted. This seems to be one of the remaining taboos although we will all face this most fundamental of realities.

To God we belong, and to Him we shall return.

 

Chichester Golf course

A professional swinger in action..

And how not to do it. Appalling posture. tut-tut.

 

Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden aka GOLF!!

So my first encounter on a golf course did not quite start on the right foot. Having woken up late and with a two hour journey to ahead of me, I seriously contemplated cancelling. But with at least one months advance warning and the fact that I was actually looking forward to it after about a month work pressure I roused my self from my slumber and arranged to meet my golf buddies at the fifth tee. I say golf buddies – but this was the first time I actually played on a course and not just on a pitch and putt or on the driving range. How hard could it be? As P.G Woodhouse said “Golf ! After all, what is golf? Just pushing a small ball into a hole. A child could do it….”

For a start there is whole paraphernalia that you need before you event set foot on the course. Apart from the set of clubs, the trolley, balls and score cards, you need to make sure that you have the correct clothes and shoes in accordance with club rules. Lucky for me no major faux-pas with the clothes and I was able to borrow the rest. Of course this gives plenty of a opportunity for one-up-manship wrt to club and clothes brand etc. Ide even had a remote controlled trolley thanks to his competition win and looked like the consummate professional in all his gear.

Suffice it to say my first round on the golf course was embarrassing. I think I lost about 10 balls in rivers and lakes and although I was beginning to hit a few good strokes, couldn’t help feeling that this was going to be a very expensive and frustrating hobby if I was going to carry on. Having said that, Chichester golf course on that beautiful summer’s day was as pleasant a way to spend four hours as you can imagine. Yes – that’s right – FOUR hours. You can see why it elicits mixed emotions from players as evidenced by the quotes below. So thanks Ide for arranging it and opening my eyes to this very British of past times. I look forward to the next one.

For you amusement – what famous people have said about golf.
1. Winston Churchill: “Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.”

2. Jack Benny: “Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.”

3. Lee Trevino: “You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.”

4 Unknown: “Golf is not a game, it’s bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.”

5. Hank Aaron: “It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.”

6. Lee Trevino: “Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.”

7. Lee Trevino: “I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.”

8. Sam Snead: “These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.”

9. Paul Harvey: “Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.”

10. Tommy Bolt, about the tempers of modern players: “They throw their clubs backwards and sideways, and that’s wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it.”

11. Tommy Bolt: “Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.”

12. Jimmy Demarest: “Golf is about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.”

13. Jack Lemmon: “If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”

14. Lee Trevino: “If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.”

15. Unknown: “Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it’s called the PGA Tour.”

16. John Updike: “Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.”

17. “Silk Stockings” TV Show: “The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.”

18. Gerald Ford: “I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.”

19. P.G. Woodhouse: “The least thing upsets him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.”

20. Bob Hope: “If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.”

21. Ken Harrelson: “In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.”

22. Chi Chi Rodriguez: “The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.”

23. Chi Chi Rodriguez: “After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.”

24. Tommy Bolt, toward the end of one of his infamous high-volume, temperamental, club-throwing rounds, asked his caddie for a club recommendation for a shot of about 155 yards. His caddie said: “I’d say either a 3-iron or a wedge, sir.” “A 3- iron or a wedge?” asked Bolt. “What kind of stupid, #*!~%^* choice is that?”
“Those are the only two clubs you have left in the your bag, sir.” said the caddie.

PS How do you put up pictures??

 

Latest news…Mrs C graduates!

Its been a while but just to let you know I’m still here. I’ll fill you in later but for now the news is that Alhamdulilah, Mrs C has now passed her exams!!

Good news but I feel a little for the patients. I better not say anything else in case I get stabbed by a knitting needle or get balls of wool thrown at me! But seriously congratulations – a lot of hard work has gone in under difficult circumstances.

I suppose you want a present now..

 

Back to being a bachelor – sort of

So Dahab was cool. I can fully recommend it for a week break or so. Get a decent hotel near the Corniche, not one these mega chain ones, and just kick back. The original chilled out feel has still been preserved quite well with the activity bits tagged on, like camel riding in the desert, horse riding on the beach, quad biking, wind surfing (kite surfing as well), kayaking, and of course snorkelling and scuba diving. Not a Pharonic temple in sight or over-zealous sales people! Might have to go back one of these days. Of course it helps if you can negotiate big discounts on almost everything.

Mrs C went back to UK to start revising for her finals last week. I’ll be staying on for another month – shorter than I wanted but apparently I’m needed back in the office. As planned I’ve vacated our over priced flat and gone back to living like a bachelor, sharing digs with a student from Al-Azhar university. The good thing is that my flat mate, although from South Africa, speaks fluent Arabic and the place is cheap and functional. Unfortunately it is slightly far from the network of people I’ve got to know over the last couple of months and a bit sparse. He has just gone on a three day trip with some of his uni mates so tis a bit lonely here on my own for a few days (except for the ants to keep me company).

Ustad Ahmed’s wife has taken pity on my bachelor status and although I insisted I knew how to cook and could at least pick up a phone and order a pizza or kushary (yum) if I needed, she gave me enough home-cooked food to last the week! This also included a massive tray of jelly which resulted from a passing remark I made about not being able to get halal jelly in the UK! Well at least I won’t starve – and my pots and pans remain unpacked.

The by product of their genorisity, as Ustad Ahmed sees it, is that I now have more time to study and revise. Given the short space of time I have left, Ustad Ahmed is keen on packing in as much as he can and the lessons are becoming more and more intense. I know I won’t be able to remember a lot of it but at least I will be able to revise when I get back and have my notes – I hope. We’ve started tajweed and I’rab of the Quran now. Sometimes my head hurts from all this and I had call in to cancel a couple of Diwan classes – but I’ve promised myself that I will never do a ten-hour day of pure grammar – it will just drive me insane.

On the plus side I met up with another student from Al Azhar university today. I first met him a week or so after we arrived and he mentioned that my Arabic had very much improved since that first meeting. He’s offered to show me around some of the sights of Islamic Cairo which are not necessarily on the tourist trail – I think I’ll take him up on that.

And finally, I came across this on the net. Some of it is starting to ring true…

You Know You’ve Lived in the Middle East Too Long When …

• You’re not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
• You think the uncut version of “Little House on the Prairie” is provocative
• You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read “insha’allah”
• You don’t expect to eat dinner before 10:30 p.m.
• You need a sweater when it’s 80 degrees outside
• Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
• You believe that speed limits are only advisory
• You have no problem with tractors driving 40kph on the highway
• You know whether or not you are within missile range of Iraq
• You get excited and spread the news when “Oreo” cookies show up at the grocery store
• You fully expect to go to jail when a local national hits the back of your car at a stop sign
• You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first
• You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light will turn green
• You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks
• You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn
• You think that all gas stations are made of marble
• You can receive every TV station crystal clear except the local one
• You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer
• You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought
• You expect gold for every birthday
• You think Pepsi begins with a “B”
• You think that a box of kleenex belongs on every dinner table
• You think water only comes in bottles
• You understand that when someone says “Bukra (tomorrow), Insha’Allah” to you it really means “Sometime during this calendar year”…if you’re lucky!
  You start writing from the right side of the page.

 

Off to Dahab

There’s a nasty, carcinogenic, ozone-filled smog swirling around Cairo. I’m off to Dahab for fresh sea air and sunshine.

 

A Tourist in Egypt

A previous post alluded to plans for an odyssey of exploration through Egypt’s fascinating and profuse historic monuments and artefacts. My sister joined us for the Cairo leg before returning to her east-end dwarves and we went on to Luxor for a cruise down to Aswan. I thought it would be interesting just to list some of the places and things we visited and a factoid or two.

Khan al-Khalili – A bazaar made more famous in recent times by Naguib Mahfouz’s writings originates from 1328 and was historically dominated by the foreign merchant classes of Jewish, Armenian, Persian and non Egyptian Arabs . Now a tourist trap extraordinaire but quite good fun if you start haggling with a good-natured trader. While I am quite a good haggler, I hate shopping so I left the ladies to go shopping by themselves and ended up just shaking my head at the prices they paid. But I’m amazed at the prices that some of the real tourist end up paying for pointless nick naks.

Opposite Khan al-Khalil is the Al-Azhar mosque. Originally a university, one of the first in the world, this is an impressive example of Islamic architecture. Thousands of students from all around the world still come to study at Al-Azhar university which is now based near us in Madinat Nasser and is one of the premier places for Islamic learning and knowledge. You can still see some classes being taught in circles within annexes to the mosque as has been the case for over a millennia. We prayed Jumma prayers there before going on to Cairo Tower.

A visit to the Cairo Tower is normally remembered for its unrivalled view of the city including the pyramids of Giza in the distance and mediocre dinner in a revolving restaurant. Unfortunately we will remember if for the horrific beating of an alleged thief by police and under cover agents on the grounds. The man was literally beaten unconscious by about four or five policemen and whilst the camcorder was rolling at the time it was turned off and there is no Rodney King style evidence of this event. It’s a reminder of the precarious balance of a police state.

Pyramids of Giza truly are impressive structures and serve as reminders of the rise and fall of bygone empires. The genius, vision, complexity and sheer scale of effort of building the pyramids themselves really have to be seen to be believed. The huge blocks of chiselled granite were transported hundreds of miles from quarries in Aswan from Upper Egypt. Of course the best thing about a visit to the pyramids is the obligatory ride on camels and gallop on a horse on the edge of the Sahara. My horse unfortunately was a little on the small size and it just looked a little silly. The other unfortunate thing is that Mrs C is very very very allergic to horses and suffered the most horrendous reaction and it took a couple of day for her eyes to go back to normal.

The Egyptian Museum is one of those places that just have to be seen. As well as housing the infamous Tutankhamen collection, mummies (human and animals), statutes, models and hieroglyphics the layout is to say the least confusing and the labelling atrocious. You definitely need a guide and the touts outside must make a fortune. One of the mummies is alleged to be Mernetepah (son of Ramses) who was the Pharoh of the Biblical Exodus and is recorded in the Quran as being preserved as a sign for future generations (10.90- 92). To this day, no-one is sure of the mummification process which keeps the bodies so well preserved.

The Citadel and the Mosque of Mohammed Ali is one of the more dramatic and dominant features of the Cairo skyline. The Citadel or fortress was founded by the famous Salah al-Din Ayyubi in 1176 and was the centre of governance and rule for nearly every leader since till 1874. Mohammed Ali’s mosque built in 1833 acknowledges and defies the Ottoman Empire in style and scale. The gingerbread clock from Louis Philipe of France in exchange for the obelisk removed from Luxor Palace and now in Place de la Concorde in Paris has famously never worked except perhaps for the journey to Egypt. This place is definitely worth a visit for the views of the city alone.

That’s it for tourist Cairo although there are other things to see and do. I’ll put up pictures and write about the Nile cruise another time.

 

Cartoon Crisis

Some links to articles commenting on this:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/cartoonprotests/story/0,,1703496,00.html

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/comment/story/0,,1707922,00.html

http://al-miftah.blogspot.com/2006/02/something-rotten-in-state-of-denmark.html

http://www.zaytuna.org/articleDetails.asp?articleID=92

Don’t necessarily agree 100% with everything written but with little time to write in detail about this, it covers most of my views!

 

Update

We were invited to the opening of the Foreign and Commonwealth Office sponsored photo exhibition a few of days ago. I say invited, but sadly this wasn’t an exclusive embassy event with mounds of Ferror Roche being passed around on silver platters. As part of our government’s ‘hearts and mind’ offensive in the Muslim world the British Council has been putting on a week of events in Egypt to portray how positive relations are in the UK between muslims and the rest of society. It was introduced by HM Ambassador who spoke in Arabic, which despite being in a stilted English accent was quite impressive.

‘The Art of Integration; Islam In Britain’s Green and Pleasant Land’ was the title of the new photo exhibition undertaken by Peter Sanders. Putting aside the differences in opinion about human representation in art, this was an interesting set of snaps which captured a certain aspect of Muslim life in the UK today. It was surprising that I recognised quite a few of the subjects, which perhaps shows how small the pool of positive subjects there is within a certain circle. Despite the extremely positive images of muslims in the UK (i.e. Mosques built out of local stone, Muslims working in the community as doctors, politicians, businessmen, teachers, lots of playing kids etc etc) its quite clear that some of the journalists present were not suddenly converted from their preconceived opinions. For example one journalist I chatted to asked me about discrimination and racism, riots in Bradford, poor education and increasing curbs on civil rights (the last one is a bit much coming from an Egyptian!). A week of exhibitions, films and workshops aren’t going to sway minds.

Talking about human representation, the furore over the publication of cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is making waves here as well and has well and truly put a dent in any positive EU charm offensive. After Jummah prayers leaflets were being handed out urging us to ban Danish products including an old favourite Lego. Quite clearly depiction and republication of the cartoons demonstrates at least wanton insensitivity and at worst calculated provocation and insult to nearly all Muslims. I hear that it was the Egyptian foreign minister who kept the pressure on the Danish government urging them to make a public statement which they refused to until recently and far too late after the initial event. Muslim’s are reacting (perhaps over reacting) but the hurt and insult caused on so many levels is real and palpable. The love and respect for held for the Prophet (pbuh) is something that is not fully understood by many but perhaps this is the proverbial silver lining and calmer minds can start explaining this (although really incumbent on all Muslims). Sadly many people have died already, and there are rumours (stress rumours – I don’t want to start one) of retaliatory Quran burnings to the Danish flag burning. It’s easy to become depressed at these events and the world really is in a turmoil but as an optimist I believe that there are better times ahead. And to the guy who wore a ‘suicide vest’ in London in protest – just three words – ‘What A Plonker’.

Lessons are ongoing and am feeling a little saturated and exhausted. We’ll be taking a well deserved break and doing a few touristy things next week once Mrs C Senior and Teacher C arrive in Cairo.

Egypt has just won the African Cup without Mido their star player in a penalty shoot out! Judging by the cheers and car horns outside, we’re not going to get much sleep tonight. As we can’t beat them we’re off to join them and take in some of the atmosphere.

 

Misr! – Boom.Boom.Boom – Misr!

Only the most absent minded would notice that Cairo has become a bit football loopy over the last couple of weeks as it hosts the Africa Cup of Nations. Kids are playing on the streets, the standard fizzy drinks are being endorsed by African football stars and there’s even an African Cup song. So we decided to go along to a game as it would be rude not to imbibe some of the culture of your host city for the next few weeks!

Egypt 3 – Ivory Coast 1. That’s how the match ended. As a qualifying game, it was largely inconsequential – Coite d’Ivoire were assured of their place in the knock out stages and the host nation just had to avoid losing to make sure their destiny was in their own hands and not rely on the results of Libya v Morocco. The Ivory Coast team were bigger and physically stronger than the Egyptians, but the home team showed more heart, enthusiasm and courage in front of their inspiring fans.

The crowd atmosphere was something quite different than any sporting event I’ve been to in the UK. The absence of alcohol meant that the raucous enthusiasm never verged on the menacing and frankly it felt relatively safe and good natured. Of course you did have to go through about ten lines of security in this most security-obsessed country. We turned up with about 45 mins to go before kick off and were lucky to find 9 seats altogether near the edge of the pitch. I realised later that at that angle, about 10% of the pitch couldn’t be seen because of the advertising hoardings on our side! This was frustrating as Mido, Egypt’s best player, was dribbling down our flank for the first half-hour before he was substituted due to injury.

I was worried that I would have to explain the offside rule in Arabic to the bunch of football novices that came along, but it didn’t get much worse than; ‘Isn’t it mean that they boo the opposition team? And how do they know in which direction to head the ball’ before the yummy home made chocolate cake was passed around (Mrs C is a fantastic cake baker). The football chanting was no more imaginative than Misr! Boom-Boom-Boom- Misr! A crowd fluffer bizarrely managed to get a whole section of the second-class stadium to shout Oooooo! Aaaaaaaaa! And then what was suspiciously like the Old Macdonald Tune – E-I-E-I-O – in chorus. I was so enraptured with all this that I admit missing Ivory Coast’s goal towards the end of the first half but the crowd itself was something of a spectacle with red, white and black cladding nearly every single one of the 70,000 capacity stadium. They kept up the noise and encouragement for nearly all the game.

After a quiet start to the second half, Ivory Coast’s goalkeeper was substituted and Egypt went on to score a second and third, just in time to warm us all up by cheering along. We had agreed to leave a little early before the end of the match so that we could get a cab home, but mutiny in the ranks put pay to that and we got home really late. As expected the streets were jammed with fans celebrating with flags, horns, whistles and drums. Anyway with no cabs, we were forced to walk for ages and then got into a minibus whose driver insisted in blasting his horn all the way (inducing a headache, homework aversion and class cancellation the next morning). If you didn’t know there was a football match on you might think Egypt had just won a war against Israel! You can imagine the scenes if they do win this competition – the whole nation will go mental. For one short night, we were all Egyptians and the final word should be MISR!

PS Thanks should go to Ustadh Muhammad without whom things would have been a little more difficult.

PPS For a real match report click here.