Think Positive

I saw this poem and liked it enough to share.. enjoy.

It Couldn’t Be Done

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done,
But he with a chuckle replied
That “maybe it couldn’t”, but he would be one
Who wouldn’t say so till he tried.
So he buckled right in with a trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing,
That couldn’t be done and he did it.

Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it”;
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin
Just take off your coat and go to it.
Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

Edgar A. Guest

Think Positive,
Believe you can,
Do everything that you plan,
When you do – it will turn out grand.
So, Think Positive, man!

 

Chichester Golf course

A professional swinger in action..

And how not to do it. Appalling posture. tut-tut.

 

Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden aka GOLF!!

So my first encounter on a golf course did not quite start on the right foot. Having woken up late and with a two hour journey to ahead of me, I seriously contemplated cancelling. But with at least one months advance warning and the fact that I was actually looking forward to it after about a month work pressure I roused my self from my slumber and arranged to meet my golf buddies at the fifth tee. I say golf buddies – but this was the first time I actually played on a course and not just on a pitch and putt or on the driving range. How hard could it be? As P.G Woodhouse said “Golf ! After all, what is golf? Just pushing a small ball into a hole. A child could do it….”

For a start there is whole paraphernalia that you need before you event set foot on the course. Apart from the set of clubs, the trolley, balls and score cards, you need to make sure that you have the correct clothes and shoes in accordance with club rules. Lucky for me no major faux-pas with the clothes and I was able to borrow the rest. Of course this gives plenty of a opportunity for one-up-manship wrt to club and clothes brand etc. Ide even had a remote controlled trolley thanks to his competition win and looked like the consummate professional in all his gear.

Suffice it to say my first round on the golf course was embarrassing. I think I lost about 10 balls in rivers and lakes and although I was beginning to hit a few good strokes, couldn’t help feeling that this was going to be a very expensive and frustrating hobby if I was going to carry on. Having said that, Chichester golf course on that beautiful summer’s day was as pleasant a way to spend four hours as you can imagine. Yes – that’s right – FOUR hours. You can see why it elicits mixed emotions from players as evidenced by the quotes below. So thanks Ide for arranging it and opening my eyes to this very British of past times. I look forward to the next one.

For you amusement – what famous people have said about golf.
1. Winston Churchill: “Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture.”

2. Jack Benny: “Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf, and you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.”

3. Lee Trevino: “You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.”

4 Unknown: “Golf is not a game, it’s bondage. It was obviously devised by a man torn with guilt, eager to atone for his sins.”

5. Hank Aaron: “It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.”

6. Lee Trevino: “Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn’t a lot of strokes when you consider the course.”

7. Lee Trevino: “I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.”

8. Sam Snead: “These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.”

9. Paul Harvey: “Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.”

10. Tommy Bolt, about the tempers of modern players: “They throw their clubs backwards and sideways, and that’s wrong. You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don’t have to walk any extra distance to get it.”

11. Tommy Bolt: “Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.”

12. Jimmy Demarest: “Golf is about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.”

13. Jack Lemmon: “If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”

14. Lee Trevino: “If you’re caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.”

15. Unknown: “Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it’s called the PGA Tour.”

16. John Updike: “Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.”

17. “Silk Stockings” TV Show: “The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.”

18. Gerald Ford: “I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose.”

19. P.G. Woodhouse: “The least thing upsets him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows.”

20. Bob Hope: “If I’m on the course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him.”

21. Ken Harrelson: “In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.”

22. Chi Chi Rodriguez: “The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.”

23. Chi Chi Rodriguez: “After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.”

24. Tommy Bolt, toward the end of one of his infamous high-volume, temperamental, club-throwing rounds, asked his caddie for a club recommendation for a shot of about 155 yards. His caddie said: “I’d say either a 3-iron or a wedge, sir.” “A 3- iron or a wedge?” asked Bolt. “What kind of stupid, #*!~%^* choice is that?”
“Those are the only two clubs you have left in the your bag, sir.” said the caddie.

PS How do you put up pictures??

 

Latest news…Mrs C graduates!

Its been a while but just to let you know I’m still here. I’ll fill you in later but for now the news is that Alhamdulilah, Mrs C has now passed her exams!!

Good news but I feel a little for the patients. I better not say anything else in case I get stabbed by a knitting needle or get balls of wool thrown at me! But seriously congratulations – a lot of hard work has gone in under difficult circumstances.

I suppose you want a present now..

 

Enemy Combatant

I had the surprising pleasure of being at a presentation titled ‘An Audience with Moazzam Begg’. For those who have short memories he was released from Guantanomo Bay after three years in detention courtesey of the US government.

His story is a painful one for those who have any sense of justice or compassion. After managing to escape the US bombardment of Afghanistan following 9/11 (he was there setting up a school for girls) he was reunited with his family in Pakistan whom he had given up for dead. After about three weeks his house in Islamabad was raided by FBI/CIA and ISI agents and he was carted off in front of his wife and young kids. He was imprisoned and interrogated by various agencies including MI6 and the British Foreign office whilst still being denied any basic legal rights. Shortly thereafter he was taken to Bagram where he was subjected to the most obscene violence and abuse and then carted off to Guantanomo Bay where he was kept in solitary confinement for nearly two years. For anyone who believed that UK politicians and officials stood up for justice and tried to help Moazzem’s father who spearheaded a fantastic campaign for his son’s release, it seems that they were just as complicit in prolonging his suffering.

I’ve summarised the main points but what came across most in his presentation was that despite suffering various levels of mental and physical torture that could be invented by the US military and intelligence agencies, Moazzam Begg was articulate (a result of more than 300 interrogations!), clearly very intelligent, still retained a sense of humour and most of all did not display a sense of rage or anger that you might think is a reasonable reaction. I don’t think it’s anywhere close to forgiveness or anything but the forbearance and reliance on Allah developed through a renewed relationship with the Quran during those years in isolation clearly comes through.

At Guantanamo, as he was one of the few who could speak English, Urdu and Arabic, he managed to establish relations with other ‘detainees’ as well as the guards – many of whom were ignorant of pretty much everything, never mind history, politics or religion. He bore no ill-will to many of the individual guards who were assigned to him although there were many whose brutality led to the deaths of some prisoners. In fact one of the enduring ironies was that he was asked to be a witness for the prosecution in the legal proceedings against soldiers who had killed prisoners in Bagram whilst being denied due process himself.

You feel that his lectures have a cathartic effect, each time he recounts his story is part of the continuing rehabilitation for himself and family. Yet I wouldn’t be surprised if there are things that he hasn’t mentioned, things that are still too painful to said out aloud.

I bought and got a signed edition of his book, ‘Enemy Combatant’ and recommend all to read it. It humanises those men in orange suits, most of whom were ‘sold’ to the Americans for money. It definitely opens your eyes to a different perspective in the insane age of the ‘war or on terror’, or more recently renamed ‘the long war’.

 

Hard disk heaven

Our laptop has died. The tragedy has been compunded my the loss of all nearly our digital photos from our recent trip to Turkey, Egypt and Bangladesh. Luckily all our wedding pics have been backed up on disk – but let this be a lesson to you all – back up data – NOW and regularly thereafter. If anyone has a record of our visits to these places, can you please give us copies for our album.

 

Back home and back to reality

So I’ve been back nearly two weeks and its straight back to work. Egypt seems so far away now and its very worrying how you can settle back into a new routine. Sadly as the physical ramble has come to an end the raison d’etre for the blog is also diminishing. However the mental rambles will still go on so pop in from time to time.

Work will be very busy but as most of it is confidential (and of no interest to any body outside the world of trains) I won’t dwell on this. Mrs C is working very hard for final exams although seems more interseted in interior design, making cakes and very expensive handbags!!

I will be posting pictures up of our time in Egypt soon so stay tuned.

 

Honoured Guest

A week in to my bachelor status and things are falling in to a routine. You’ll all be glad to know that I’m not wasting away here on my own. Arabs are renown for the hospitality shown to guests and this has been liberally applied. I’ve noticed that many people from the east know how to honour their guests and it reminds me of Michael Palin’s comments after returning back to Blightly after his 80 days around the world trip that people were less gracious and caring in the UK more than anywhere else (or words to that effect).

A conversation in a Middle Eastern/Sub Continental/African/Central Asian/Far Eastern household between a guest and host might go something like this:

Host: Would you like something to drink?
Guest: No thank you, I’m fine.
Host: Really, tell me its no trouble, I insist?
Guest: No honestly its fine, I’m OK.
Host: Well how about some water then, at least that?
Guest: No need really.
Host: Please you would insult me otherwise?
[And so on for about five minutes until…]
Guest: Some water will be great, but only if its no trouble, thank you.
[Host goes to kitchen and wheels out a five course meal made up of the freshly sacrificed goats, exotic specialities and the best food in the house, including jelly.]

A similar scenario in the UK might be slightly shorter:

Host: Would you like some tea?
Guest: No thank you.
Host: OK [and goes to make himself a cup and drinks in front of guest]

I do of course exaggerate slightly, there have been plenty of times I’ve not even been offered tea! The honouring of the guest or traveller is greatly praised in many cultures, and the Islamic tradition is no exception to this as can be seen from the following translation of a verse from Quran and narration.

Allah says, “Has the story reached you of the honoured guests of Ibrahim? When they entered his dwelling and said, ‘Peace! ‘He said, ‘Peace! O people unknown to us.’ So he slipped off to his household and brought a fattened calf. He offered it to them. He exclaimed, ‘Do you not then eat?'” (51:24-27)

Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day should honour his guest. Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should maintain ties of kinship. Anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should speak well or be silent.” [Agreed upon]

Anyway this tradition is keeping me well looked after although on the converse side there are etiquettes of being a good guest and not being a burden to ones hosts. At the moment I don’t think I’m near that threshold but I would like to buy a present for them to show gratitude – any ideas anyone?

 

Back to being a bachelor – sort of

So Dahab was cool. I can fully recommend it for a week break or so. Get a decent hotel near the Corniche, not one these mega chain ones, and just kick back. The original chilled out feel has still been preserved quite well with the activity bits tagged on, like camel riding in the desert, horse riding on the beach, quad biking, wind surfing (kite surfing as well), kayaking, and of course snorkelling and scuba diving. Not a Pharonic temple in sight or over-zealous sales people! Might have to go back one of these days. Of course it helps if you can negotiate big discounts on almost everything.

Mrs C went back to UK to start revising for her finals last week. I’ll be staying on for another month – shorter than I wanted but apparently I’m needed back in the office. As planned I’ve vacated our over priced flat and gone back to living like a bachelor, sharing digs with a student from Al-Azhar university. The good thing is that my flat mate, although from South Africa, speaks fluent Arabic and the place is cheap and functional. Unfortunately it is slightly far from the network of people I’ve got to know over the last couple of months and a bit sparse. He has just gone on a three day trip with some of his uni mates so tis a bit lonely here on my own for a few days (except for the ants to keep me company).

Ustad Ahmed’s wife has taken pity on my bachelor status and although I insisted I knew how to cook and could at least pick up a phone and order a pizza or kushary (yum) if I needed, she gave me enough home-cooked food to last the week! This also included a massive tray of jelly which resulted from a passing remark I made about not being able to get halal jelly in the UK! Well at least I won’t starve – and my pots and pans remain unpacked.

The by product of their genorisity, as Ustad Ahmed sees it, is that I now have more time to study and revise. Given the short space of time I have left, Ustad Ahmed is keen on packing in as much as he can and the lessons are becoming more and more intense. I know I won’t be able to remember a lot of it but at least I will be able to revise when I get back and have my notes – I hope. We’ve started tajweed and I’rab of the Quran now. Sometimes my head hurts from all this and I had call in to cancel a couple of Diwan classes – but I’ve promised myself that I will never do a ten-hour day of pure grammar – it will just drive me insane.

On the plus side I met up with another student from Al Azhar university today. I first met him a week or so after we arrived and he mentioned that my Arabic had very much improved since that first meeting. He’s offered to show me around some of the sights of Islamic Cairo which are not necessarily on the tourist trail – I think I’ll take him up on that.

And finally, I came across this on the net. Some of it is starting to ring true…

You Know You’ve Lived in the Middle East Too Long When …

• You’re not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
• You think the uncut version of “Little House on the Prairie” is provocative
• You expect the confirmation on your airline ticket to read “insha’allah”
• You don’t expect to eat dinner before 10:30 p.m.
• You need a sweater when it’s 80 degrees outside
• Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the maid
• You believe that speed limits are only advisory
• You have no problem with tractors driving 40kph on the highway
• You know whether or not you are within missile range of Iraq
• You get excited and spread the news when “Oreo” cookies show up at the grocery store
• You fully expect to go to jail when a local national hits the back of your car at a stop sign
• You know which end of a shawarma to unwrap first
• You think that the further you inch into the middle of an intersection, the faster the light will turn green
• You consider it normal for the same section of the road to be dug up three times by contractors in the space of a few weeks
• You understand that the true definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn
• You think that all gas stations are made of marble
• You can receive every TV station crystal clear except the local one
• You get used to using the cold water tap to get hot water during the summer
• You make left turns from the far right lane without a second thought
• You expect gold for every birthday
• You think Pepsi begins with a “B”
• You think that a box of kleenex belongs on every dinner table
• You think water only comes in bottles
• You understand that when someone says “Bukra (tomorrow), Insha’Allah” to you it really means “Sometime during this calendar year”…if you’re lucky!
  You start writing from the right side of the page.

 

Off to Dahab

There’s a nasty, carcinogenic, ozone-filled smog swirling around Cairo. I’m off to Dahab for fresh sea air and sunshine.